Truth and Consequences

Truth and Consequences

The essence of communication is intention. ~Werner Erhard

While speaking with a woman whose partner had just left their relationship to marry another woman, she asked me, “Did you know that Walter was once in jail for embezzling?” No, I hadn’t known that. “I just thought you should know the truth about him, ” she added. Her comments struck me as harsh and out of context. Reflecting on her position, I understood that she felt wounded by this man, and this was her way of retaliating or justifying her loss. But it was not truth that she was seeking to offer; it was injury.

Many a disservice has been rendered in the name of “telling the truth. ” What use is telling the truth if our intention is to cause pain? The truth, like a knife, can be used to perform life-saving surgery or to maim. It is a power that must be used with consciousness, forethought, and service.

To make a rule that we must always tell all facts, thoughts, and feeling, is to open the door to unnecessary pain. Higher than any factual truth is the truth that we are loving beings, here to support one another in healing and awakening. If someone is not ready to hear a truth, or it would hurt them emotionally or damage them socially to speak it, we must yield to service rather than a rote rule.

Before speaking truth to someone, ask yourself some important questions: What is my intention in offering this? How would I prefer to hear such a truth spoken to me? Am I truly seeking to communicate, or am I “dumping ” to relieve myself of upset or guilt? What do I want to come of this situation? How can I best serve everyone involved?

Consult your heart; it will guide you to offer truth in the highest way possible. Guide me to speak healing words, that I may be closer to my brothers and sisters.

I use the truth to heal and bring peace.

This meditation is an excerpt from Alan Cohen's meditation book, A Deep Breath of Life.